I’m a
relationship person. I genuinely find satisfaction in investing in people and
building lasting relationships. And while I commit whole-heartedly to the
relationships in my life, I’ve also always been fascinated by observing relationships—especially
romantic—from both an academic and personal standpoint. So, with that said, it’s
no surprise the most recent avant-garde social experiment peaked my interest.
I’m not sure how
many of you are familiar with the televised social experiment Married At First Sight. It premiered in
July of this year and has already come to an end. As I was watching the final
episodes the other day- I had an epiphany! But before I share my “enlightenment
moment”, allow me to briefly explain the premise of the experiment.
Married At First
Sight is an extreme social experiment following six brave souls who are
yearning for a life-long partnership as they agree to get legally married the
moment they first meet! Four specialists—clinical psychologist, Dr. Joseph
Cilona; sociologist, Dr. Pepper Schwartz; sexologist, Dr. Logan Levkoff; and
spiritual advisor, Greg Epstein—created what they believe are three perfect
couples, based on scientific matchmaking. Within a 5 week period, the couples
get married, honeymoon, move in together and endure other relatable events of
married life. After their time together, each couple must make a decision to
stay married or get a divorce.
I do not agree
with the methodology of this experiment because marriage is sacred and should
not be toyed with, especially with divorce—1 Corinthians 7:39 “A woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to marry
anyone she wishes, but he must belong to the Lord.” Matthew 19:9 “[Jesus said]
I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital
unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery.” Matthew 19:6 “So
they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together,
let no one separate.”
However, this is what I learned by
looking at the big picture.
Repeatedly throughout the experiment,
the participating individuals all expressed feelings of fear, doubt, anxiety,
trust issues, nervousness, etc—especially in the “decision” episode. And
rightfully so! Who you’re going to spend the rest of your life with is a huge deal—part of the experiment or
not, those same emotions run high in our lives when faced with life altering
decisions. But what I found most compelling didn’t surface until the final,
final episode “6 Months Later.” This episode was conducted in interview
fashion. The experts were seated alongside a host who questioned each
participant individually and as a couple to see where their relationships
stand. In this experiment two of the three couples decided to stay married and
six months later the decision results remained true.
As the participants were reminiscing on
the experience, on many occasions they would address the experts and say things
like: I placed my trust in you, You know everything about me- I trusted you to
find me the perfect person, I doubted your decision at first but now I couldn’t
be happier! As I was hearing these sentiments echo—it
dawned on me (this was my enlightenment moment) God is the experts wrapped up in one! I mean seriously, think about
it.
God is a…
Clinical psychologist- God
knows everything about you.
“O Lord, you have searched me and you know me. You know when I sit and
when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my
lying down; you are familiar with all my
ways. Before a word is on my tongue you
know it completely, O Lord.” Psalm 139:1-4
Sociologist- God knows
your behaviors and needs because He created you.
“Your hands [O Lord] shaped me and made me.” Job 10:8
“For you
created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.” Psalm
139:13
Sexologist- God
designed sex for purpose in the context of marriage.
“For this reason man will leave his
father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become on flesh.” Genesis 2:24
“[God said to Adam and Eve after
creating them] ‘Be fruitful and increase
in number; fill the earth and subdue it.” Genesis 1:28
Spiritual Advisor-
God sent the Holy Spirit to help guide us in life.
“Jesus replied…’But the Advocate, the Holy
Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said
to you.’” John 14:26
“In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know
what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us…” Romans
8:26
If you’re like
me, single and waiting for your beloved, take comfort in this epiphany!
The
experiment participants placed their trust in experts who were complete
strangers. They had confidence that after completing psychological
tests, the experts would know their perfect match—but placing your trust in God your
creator who knows you better than you know yourself and is an expert in all things, is that much better!
One of my
favorite verses is Psalm 118:8, which of all the verses in the Bible happens to
be smack dab in the middle. (Coincidence? I think not.) It reads, “It is better
to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in man.”
Trusting in man
comes with a margin of error—trusting in a perfect God will always lead to
favorable results.
