What I Learned From Watching Married At First Sight

I’m a relationship person. I genuinely find satisfaction in investing in people and building lasting relationships. And while I commit whole-heartedly to the relationships in my life, I’ve also always been fascinated by observing relationships—especially romantic—from both an academic and personal standpoint. So, with that said, it’s no surprise the most recent avant-garde social experiment peaked my interest.

I’m not sure how many of you are familiar with the televised social experiment Married At First Sight. It premiered in July of this year and has already come to an end. As I was watching the final episodes the other day- I had an epiphany! But before I share my “enlightenment moment”, allow me to briefly explain the premise of the experiment.

Married At First Sight is an extreme social experiment following six brave souls who are yearning for a life-long partnership as they agree to get legally married the moment they first meet! Four specialists—clinical psychologist, Dr. Joseph Cilona; sociologist, Dr. Pepper Schwartz; sexologist, Dr. Logan Levkoff; and spiritual advisor, Greg Epstein—created what they believe are three perfect couples, based on scientific matchmaking. Within a 5 week period, the couples get married, honeymoon, move in together and endure other relatable events of married life. After their time together, each couple must make a decision to stay married or get a divorce.

I do not agree with the methodology of this experiment because marriage is sacred and should not be toyed with, especially with divorce—1 Corinthians 7:39 “A woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but he must belong to the Lord.” Matthew 19:9 “[Jesus said] I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery.” Matthew 19:6 “So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”

However, this is what I learned by looking at the big picture.

Repeatedly throughout the experiment, the participating individuals all expressed feelings of fear, doubt, anxiety, trust issues, nervousness, etc—especially in the “decision” episode. And rightfully so! Who you’re going to spend the rest of your life with is a huge deal—part of the experiment or not, those same emotions run high in our lives when faced with life altering decisions. But what I found most compelling didn’t surface until the final, final episode “6 Months Later.” This episode was conducted in interview fashion. The experts were seated alongside a host who questioned each participant individually and as a couple to see where their relationships stand. In this experiment two of the three couples decided to stay married and six months later the decision results remained true.  

As the participants were reminiscing on the experience, on many occasions they would address the experts and say things like: I placed my trust in you, You know everything about me- I trusted you to find me the perfect person, I doubted your decision at first but now I couldn’t be happier! As I was hearing these sentiments echo—it dawned on me (this was my enlightenment moment) God is the experts wrapped up in one! I mean seriously, think about it.

God is a…

Clinical psychologist- God knows everything about you.

“O Lord, you have searched me and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O Lord.” Psalm 139:1-4

Sociologist- God knows your behaviors and needs because He created you.

“Your hands [O Lord] shaped me and made me.” Job 10:8

“For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.” Psalm 139:13

Sexologist- God designed sex for purpose in the context of marriage.

“For this reason man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become on flesh.” Genesis 2:24

“[God said to Adam and Eve after creating them] ‘Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it.” Genesis 1:28

Spiritual Advisor- God sent the Holy Spirit to help guide us in life.

“Jesus replied…’But the Advocate, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you.’” John 14:26

“In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us…” Romans 8:26

If you’re like me, single and waiting for your beloved, take comfort in this epiphany! 

The experiment participants placed their trust in experts who were complete strangers. They had confidence that after completing psychological tests, the experts would know their perfect match—but placing your trust in God your creator who knows you better than you know yourself and is an expert in all things, is that much better!

One of my favorite verses is Psalm 118:8, which of all the verses in the Bible happens to be smack dab in the middle. (Coincidence? I think not.) It reads, “It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in man.”

Trusting in man comes with a margin of error—trusting in a perfect God will always lead to favorable results.